I've been thinking a lot about why I originally started this blog, and what all I really want/need/should do with my life in the face of my impending graduation on Friday (barring a massive fuck up in with my two final finals for undergrad tomorrow, back to back).

I am, almost officially, an anthropologist. And a political scientist. I want to study the human condition and express it more. I want to share what humanity is or isn't, can or can't be. I've always wanted to leave a mark on this planet, but not in a narcissistic way. I've just always wanted to leave this planet in better shape than I found it. But I also am acutely aware of how relatively little I know, am, and have experienced as some random middle class 23 year old.

And since My life isn't exactly going as planned for the next year, I think I want to do all in my power to to find it: humanity. I want to document it through reading and analyzing scientific and academic papers (at least those I know enough to understand) and through road trips and through life in menial jobs. I want to keep experiencing it through music and fashion, but just how I approach those topics is going to be different. I want to go to more shows. I want to make more jewelry and clothing and experiment with more patterns. I want to pick up violin again (there's a really pretty second hand one at a repair shop I know...) and I want to relearn Arabic and hopefully be able to speak it fluently in more states than black out drunk.

I am not going to grad school in the fall. I feel quite like a failure for it. My strict plan was always just so, I could barely feel right with taking 5 years for my undergrad. But now the next year is--nothing. There is no plan. I don't know how to handle it.

So I guess I am going to blog about it. Because what trendy middle class 23 year ISN'T blogging about it?